brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
