Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
