I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
