She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
