I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
