Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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