needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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