Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
