u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
