Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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