After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
