Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
