you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
