No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
