Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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