Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
