people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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