We won't sleep together?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
