he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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