dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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