You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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