belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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