Cold hands, warm shart.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize