The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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