So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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