you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
