Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize