We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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