i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
