Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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