i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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