Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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