I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
