Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize