So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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