Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
