I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
