At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
