i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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