I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
