U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Sext me about skeletons
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
