I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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