This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
This is my life. Enjoy the view
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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