Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
