the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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