Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
