Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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