If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
