An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
