New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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