Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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