i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
