Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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