yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
