So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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