There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
