I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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